you know when you say something 

and it’s just 

why the fuck did i say that

(via omariospizza)


when the PE teacher makes you run


(via thebombniggity)


don’t underestimate me. i’ll wear sweaters in the summer. i’ll eat like eighteen gallons of ice cream in the winter. fuck the temperature. i don’t give a fuck

(via butitwasalljustadream)

1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.

2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.

3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.

4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.

5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.

-Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via aumoe)

(via butitwasalljustadream)


me at a job interview: as you can see sir, my qualifications are highly extensive, I had earned myself a PHD

employer: it says here all you did was worked at pizza hut

me: yes sir that is correct, I had earned my living from Pizza Hut Delivery

(via butitwasalljustadream)


The odds are NEVER in our favor


We all know that feeling, vending machine

#i am also full of snacks and darkness



why do chihuahuas looks like they are scared the whole time

who wouldn’t be afraid in this economy

(via thebombniggity)



Sailing Stones, Unexplained Natural Phenomenon. 

the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles


american horror story: talking to people u used to be friends with

(via shouldnt)


no Santa, they’re not gifts, they’re jifts.

(via surprisebitch)



i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

(via dftbbrodiekate)

Whenever people say “I’d fuck you” to me I always just think, “Yeah, most people would…” Is that conceited? It’s not like anybody is going to read this anyways so I might as well say what I’m thinking.




Green Amber (fossilized tree resin from an ancient relative of a tropical species called “algarroba”) from Dominican Republic

it looks like underwater

i have a piece of this!